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Phoenix, AZ - In the blink of an eye, an otherwise uneventful morning turned into an accident scene Friday at the downtown regional offices of Peabody & Kent.
 Sources close to the investigation tell us that Anthony Capella was one hour into his first day as an employee of the Los Angeles based law firm. “I told him the other attorneys were in the Saguaro conference room upstairs meeting with our founder, Aldus Peabody” explained Human Resources director Donna Bartlett. “His eyes lit up when he heard that.”
Senior partner Gordie Schein stated that Capella entered the conference room at approximately 9:05AM. “Mr. Peabody looked up and welcomed him to the firm” said Schein.
As the other attorneys applauded him, Capella made a bee-line to Mr. Peabody with his right hand outstretched and collided head first into a 102” Samsung plasma screen.
“Apparently the kid had never been part of a high definition video conference call before” recounted Schein. “The resolution just blows your mind.” In fact, according to several witnesses, the picture quality was so clear that Aldus Peabody—from Los Angeles—was able to help paramedics at the scene locate shards of glass in Capella’s face.
 A spokesperson at Phoenix Memorial Hospital stated that doctors were able to reconstruct Capella’s nose during a 3 hour surgical procedure. Had the impact occurred 2 centimeters in either direction, stated the official, cartilage very likely would have been jettisoned into the Arizona State graduate’s cranium.
George Doolittle, CTO for Peabody and Kent, states that the firm installed the Lifesize high definition video conferencing system last spring and have been overjoyed with the results.
Anthony Capella, representing himself, has filed a lawsuit against Peabody & Kent citing unsafe working conditions. According to Gordie Schein the case against his firm is baseless. “Listen I feel for the kid, he’ll probably never smell again. The reality though is that he attempted to walk inside a TV set. How is that a court case?”
Ken Apperson reporting |
